名师点拨：雅思习作修改及评分建议及改进策略

　　题目：It seems that with the increase in use of mobile phones and computers, fewer people prefer to write letters. Will letters disappear completely?

　　审题：本文可以看作是agree or disagree 类文章，要求考生能在开头段表明自己的.立场。探讨的两个主题是：信件 VS手机电脑。

　　这篇习作的学生的写作框架是3773，观点是信不会被取代，中间写两段，第一段探讨手机电脑的两个好处，第二段探讨信的四个好处，最后总结信的优点多，继续推行。

　　开头段：

　　Mobile phones and E-mails are increasingly playing 1pivital roles in our daily life in this day and age. Yet at the same time, whether 2letter will disappear has sparked heated debate. As far as I am concerned, 3it is impossible for letters to be replaced。

　　点评：首段格式清楚，略微有模板的印记，但是有拼写错误，语法错误。会让考官觉得是6分或以下的水平。

　　修改：

　　1 pivotal 其他重要：essential, indispensable, vital

　　2 Yet at the same time, whether letters will be replaced by phones and emails has sparked heated debate

　　3 原文impossible太过绝对。Hardly will letters fade out。

　　中间第一段：

　　On the one hand, it is arguable that those high-technology products can bring about numerous benefits。

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