英语阅读原文及译文
Friends or 'Enemies?'
When I was younger, my Dad used to tell me: "Boys don't want to be your friend." He then left the rest to my imagination. At the time, I didn't agree. I thought: I can crack a good joke, I know how to shoot a hoop, and I'm a cheerful person (but not in an annoying way). What kind of boy wouldn't want to be around that kind of girl?
Turns out, my Dad was right. Not to be all "Samantha Brick" about it, but in my experience, single, heterosexual men aren't actively looking for an exclusively platonic relationship with a woman they find sexually attractive. This of course is not a revolutionary concept. In fact, it seems pretty natural to me.
Now, I will be the first to say that it is really and truly the most wonderful thing in the world if the attraction is mutual. But the Powers That Be seem to like to play these complicated little mating games with humans where the guy we want to re-enact scenes from 9? Weeks with sees our attractiveness level as akin to that of a discarded dishcloth, and the most physical we could see ourselves being with the guy who actually likes us is a game of ping pong over an especially long table. All of which means that someone usually ends up getting rejected.
I'm sure I'm not alone when I say I have struggled with the scenario where I am not interested in a man romantically, but I want to keep him as a friend because he is funny and I enjoy his company, or he has shown himself to be that rare specimen known as "a nice, genuine person, " or he simply doesn't mention his therapist in every other sentence.
Rather than string him along and give him hope, I feel compelled to somehow communicate to him sooner rather than later that we'll just be staying friends, nothing more. Otherwise, I think I am being unfair to him. Why should he waste his romantic stamina on me when there are loads of other single women out there who might fall instantly in love with him? The thing is, it can sometimes be tricky to reject a man and keep him as a friend. If the operation is not executed carefully, you may end up creating a "menemy."
It requires a certain amount of skill to be able to turn down a man's sexual advances or romantic gestures and then get him to agree to meet you for blueberry pancakes the following weekend and chat about the latest Woody Allen film. Some men aren't satisfied with just that. I'm not clear why. What's so bad about friendship? Everyone needs buddies. But I've seen men react poorly or simply fall off the face of the earth. I get it -- their feelings are hurt. None of us likes getting rejected. But in my experience, some men find it especially soul-crushing.
I am only bringing all of this up because I recently had to go through this scenario again. I had spent some time cultivating a friendship with a man who, in my defense, I thought was gay. So I didn't see the harm in him buying me the occasional falafel, or accepting an invitation to see a film with him. Isn't that what friends are for? But a mutual friend shed light on his sexual orientation (straight) and suggested that his intentions -- and attentions -- weren't platonic. He had never "made the moves" but now it was all crystal clear -- that explains the way he had looked at me that time the tahini sauce dribbled down my chin! Since he had clearly been too timid to express his feelings, I thought I would be clever this time and subtly mention the dates I had been going on, focusing on the one guy I was kind of keen on, so that he would know that I was "unavailable" for heavy petting and those sorts of activities, but that I was available for things like roller skating, falafel-eating and shooting the breeze. Doesn't that sound nice? That way, he would known not to try to lean in for a kiss, and I wouldn't have to pull the Stevie Wonder dance and dodge him went he went for it. It was like pre-rejection, yet I was sparing his feelings because he didn't even have to put himself out there! I really thought I was being brilliant.
It backfired, of course. Said man ended up sending me an email rant accusing me of being insensitive by talking about other men when he had "feelings for me." As if I am psychic, by the way, just because I am a woman! How was I supposed to know that? I think in his mind we were dating. In my mind, he was my new gay BFF. In the end, I got mad at him for getting mad at me, and now the friendship has ended.
And I have created yet another "menemy."
Look, I have also tried the direct thing: "I really like you, but only as a friend, " but you can only do that when the guy has made his intentions clear, and in my experience, they either cope okay (though rarely do I feel much enthusiasm for friendship after that), or they really don't cope well. I also tried the thing where you make them think they are rejecting you, but it gets quite confusing and only works if the guy isn't very sharp, and why would I -- or you -- be hanging out with someone not that sharp in the first place?
As we all remember, Billy Crystal's character says men and women can't be friends in When Harry Met Sally because the sex stuff gets in the way. I do have single, male, heterosexual friends with whom I have an easy, non-romantic rapport, but I honestly don't know if they would walk away if I was sprawled naked on a bed calling out to them. I may not be everybody's cup of tea, but sometimes, I wonder if they wonder. And they may wonder if I wonder. If so, I hope they'll keep it to themselves.
被拒后：朋友亦或敌人？
那时我并不以为然，认为凭自己的幽默诙谐，灌篮娴熟，开朗活泼的性格，又有那一个男孩不喜欢在这样的女孩身边呢？
但结果证明父亲是对的。对此不需要太自恋（Samantha Brick，自由专栏女作家曾写过为什么女人恨我等文章，有英版芙蓉姐姐之称），但以我的经验来说，单身异性恋男士在他们认为极具吸引力的女性身上并不想只是寻求一份简单的柏拉图式的关系。当然这一概念并没有什么开创性，事实上在我看来再自然不过了。
首先我要说的是两情相悦的确是世界上最为美妙事。但上帝却好似很喜欢玩这种复杂的配对游戏，要么是通过九个半周的交往后，我们想与之确定关系的男孩认为我们的吸引力指数同丢弃的抹布不相上下，要么就是我们对中意我们的男孩不起化学反应，两人总是像隔着一长长的桌台打乒乓球一般。结果都是以另一方被拒而告终。
有些异性我虽然不想和他交往，但很想和他做朋友，因为他幽默诙谐，有他陪在身边我会很开心,或者他友好善良并且为人真诚（这一类人可是稀缺性品种），或者是他不是每隔一句便提起他的理疗师。我敢说这种情形你也经历过吧。
我认为有必要对他说明白我们之间只会是朋友这种关系这么简单，仅此而已。说这些话宜早不宜晚，而不是将他带在身边给他希望。不然对他来说是不公平的。外面那么多单身女性，她们或许会对他一见钟情，为什么要让他白白浪费精力放在我身上呢？
但有时在拒绝一位男士后要想和他保持朋友关系，这种情况颇为棘手。如果处理不当，结果是你可能会结下梁子。 要想拒绝异性的追求或是一些暧昧举动，同时还要让他同意下一周他依然可以和你会面，边品尝蓝莓煎饼边谈论伍迪艾伦执导的电影，这的确需要一定的技巧。有些男士对此不以为意。我不清楚他们的原因，做朋友难道不好吗？每个人都有自己的朋友呀。但是我确实见到有些男性在被拒绝后反应很糟糕，有的甚至好似在地球蒸发了一样再也没见到他的面。我明白--他们受伤了。没有人喜欢被别人拒绝。根据我的经验甚至有些男士认为被拒让人精神崩溃。 提起这些是因为最近我就遇到了这种情况。前段时间我和位异性发展着朋友关系，我起初一直以为他是同性恋。所以他时不时给我买三明治，或是邀请我去看电影，我都没觉得有什么问题。朋友不就是做这些吗？但朋友间是需要彼此都明白各人的性取向的（他是异性恋）还要暗示对方他的想法意图并不是柏拉图之类。他从未做出暧昧举动，但事实上，他看我脸上有芝麻酱的眼神就已经说的很明白了。
他有些胆怯还没有袒露对我的感情，所以我想这次我可以聪明些向他委婉的提下我最近一直和某个男生在交往，并对这个我颇为动心的男生十分用心。不用说他就明白恋人间得耳鬓厮磨不属于我和他，而类似滑冰，吃吃三明治呀，或闲聊呀我都没问题。我这样做是不是还不错呀？这样他就明白不要试着前倾身子去吻我，我也不会用以要学史蒂威·旺达舞蹈为借口来躲避他的不轨举动。在他未向我表白前我就已然拒绝他了，我认为这招妙哉。
当然结果是事与愿违。此男再给我发送的邮件中激昂痛骂我多么没有感情：明知道他对我的情意却当着他的面谈论其他男生。仅仅因为我是女的，好像我就是神经病一样。我哪知道这些呀？我认为在他心里我们就一直在约会，而在我心里却把他当做可以做一辈子的同性恋朋友。最后，因为他对我生气，我也对他动了气，友情也就戛然而止了。 我又结下了一段梁子。
你瞧，我也试过用较为直接的.方式回绝男生，“我真的很喜欢你，但只是出于朋友间的喜欢而已。”这招仅适用于当此男表明了他的感情时候。在我经验中，有些男生反应还可以（尽管随后我觉得他同我做朋友的热情度大打折扣），有些男生对此应对得不是太好。还有一招我也用过，就是让他们感觉是他们在拒绝你，这招颇具有迷惑性且对象仅适用于头脑不是很敏捷的男生。但话又说回来，我怎么会和一个头脑不灵光的男生交往呢？
我们都会记得在当哈利遇上莎莉这部电影中比利克里斯托扮演的角色曾说：男人和女人从来不会是朋友，因为“男女有别”。我的确有一些单身异性恋的男性朋友，我和他们之间也处的轻松随意，无关乎风月，但我真的不知道要是我懒洋洋赤身裸体于床上，大声唤着他们，他们是否会决然走开呢？我或许不是每个人的菜，但有时我想他们是否会考虑我是不是他们喜欢的类型，或许他们也会想我会不会有同样的念头。如果是这样的话，希望他们缄口不提保密于心吧。
Living With My Teenage Genius
AS HER son Cameron sits at his laptop completing an assignment for his maths degree course Alison Thompson is busy helping her daughter Emma get dressed.
Nothing unusual there, except that at just 14 Cameron is a highly gifted maths prodigy, while Emma is 12 and severely autistic.
Having two children with such contrasting abilities has at times been a challenge, admits full-time mum Alison, 34, who also has 10-year-old daughter Bethany.
While help has always been readily available for Emma, Alison and her husband Rod, 37, a computer programmer, have had to fight to get Cameron the support he needs. “People could see that Emma has special needs but because Cameron was doing so well at school his teachers never thought there was a problem. They refused to acknowledge that he was gifted, ” says Alison.
Admittedly it took Alison and Rod a while to realise their son was different. “Cameron was our first child and we didn’t really have anything to compare him with. He always had a very impressive vocabulary and we knew he was bright but he didn’t reach his milestones exceptionally early and there were no other real signs.”
It was only when he began primary school that his abilities became clear. “He used to cry when it was time to come home, ” recalls Alison. “He just always wanted to learn more.”
On one occasion he even corrected the teacher when she told the class that zero was the lowest number. Cameron told her she was wrong because there were negative numbers. He was four at the time.
By the time he was seven, Cameron, who lives with his family in Wrexham, North Wales, was leaps and bounds ahead of his classmates. It was also clear that he was suffering from Asperger’s syndrome, which is a form of autism. Children with Asperger’s typically find social interaction incredibly difficult and can become obsessive and inflexible.
“Not only was he getting bored at school but he didn’t know when to keep quiet and had no idea how to pick up on social cues, ” says Alison, who along with Rod started to put pressure on the school for extra support for their son.
Now 14 Cameron is at secondary school, studying for a distance learning maths degree with the Open University, having sailed through his GCSE at 11 and his A-level at 12, achieving top grades.
Today it is clear that this slightly built, engaging and awkward teenager is gifted but it has been a battle to get the authorities to acknowledge his needs.
“I don’t think the teachers had a clue what to do with a gifted child, ” says Alison. “We were worried about being labelled as pushy parents but there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting the best for your child. I think the teachers thought we were trying to drive Cameron with his maths but the drive came from him.”
Frustrated, the Thompsons considered home education – Cameron was also being targeted by bullies – but they thought it would hamper their son socially.
By his final year of primary school, Cameron had become bored and disruptive but fortunately when he moved to senior school teachers there took his talents seriously and he was encouraged to do more advanced maths work.
“He steamed through the GCSE syllabus in just three months, ” says Alison. “For the first time in ages he seemed really happy.”
Then his parents had to decide what to do next. Some gifted children are sent to university early but Alison and Rod felt this wasn’t right for Cameron. “What would he have in common with the other students?” she asks. “I just don’t understand these parents who are so ambitious that they lose all sight of their child.
“I was once contacted by a mother who told me her five-year-old was interested in taking a GCSE. I mean, really? What five-year-old has actually heard of a GCSE? When Cameron was five all he wanted was to be a train driver.”
Alison admits she is baffled by much of her son’s degree course. Even Rod, who has a maths degree himself, struggles to keep up. Yet they are careful never to compare Cameron with his sisters.
Bethany is bright too but not gifted. Sociable and artistic she is the one who will remind absent minded Cameron to put on his coat. She also helps him out in social situations. “Bethany could make friends in an empty room, ” says Alison proudly. “Having siblings with such different needs has made her very accepting.”
Emma attends a specialist school and the family is quick to celebrate her successes too. “The other day she did up the buttons on her coat which was real progress, ” Alison says.
The Thompsons try to live a normal life. Late last year they took part in a fly-on-the-wall television documentary to prove that not all gifted children are the result of overly ambitious parents. Cameron, who is also a brown belt in karate, was happy to take part as he had always wanted to be on TV.
“There is so much help out there for children like Emma but hardly anything at all for those at the other end of the spectrum, ” says Alison. “Gifted children need support too but their lives don’t have to be that different to anyone else’s. Cameron is proof of that.”
家有神童
艾莉森?汤普森家有三个孩子，三个孩子个个不同。一个是天赋异禀的小神童，一个是自闭症儿童，还有一个却在社交方面表现出众。艾莉森是怎样抚养他们的？她遇到了哪些困难？
当艾莉森?汤普森的儿子卡梅伦坐在电脑前完成他的数学学士学位课作业时，她忙着帮她的女儿埃玛穿好衣服。 很平常的场景，除了14岁的卡梅隆是一个非常有天赋的数学神童，而12岁的艾玛则是严重的自闭症患者。 艾莉森承认抚养两个反差很大的孩子有时是一个挑战。34岁的艾莉森是一个全职母亲，他同时还有一个10岁的女儿伯达尼。
艾玛总是及时获得帮助的那一个，而艾莉森和她的程序员丈夫罗德不得不为卡梅隆争取他所需要的支持。“大家都知道艾玛有特殊需要，但因为卡梅伦在学校表现优秀，他的老师从来没有想过他的问题。他们拒绝承认他是天才，”艾莉森说。
诚然，艾莉森和罗德也不是一开始就发现他们的儿子有什么不同。 “卡梅隆是我们的第一个孩子，我们真的没有什么可以比较。他的词汇量一直佷令人惊讶，我们知道他聪明，但在他的阶段性发展中，他没有提前很多，也有没有其他明显的迹象。“
直到他上小学，他的能力才变得明显。“过去一到回家的时候，他就哭，”艾莉森。 “他只是想学更多的知识。” 有一次，他甚至还纠正了老师。当老师告诉同学零是最小的数字时，卡梅伦告诉她，她错了，因为有负数。那时候他四岁。
七岁的卡梅伦与他的家人住在北威尔士最大的城市雷克瑟姆（Wrexham），那时候他已经远远超过他的同学。但很明显，他很患有阿斯伯格综合症，这是自闭症的一种形式。患有阿斯伯格综合症的儿童通常在社会交往上存在困难，还可能变得执着而顽固。
“他在学校不仅感到厌烦，还不知道什么时候应当保持安静，无法理解人际交流中的隐藏含义，”艾莉森说。她和罗德开始向学校施压，以求他们的儿子获得额外的帮助。
14岁的卡梅隆目前还在中学阶段，已经开始攻读开放大学函授数学学位。11岁他通过了GCSE课程，12岁通过A-level课程，并且都取得了优异的成绩。
毋庸置疑，这个清瘦、有魅力却有点古怪的青少年是有天赋的，但让当局承认他的需求却是一场艰苦的战斗。 “我不认为教师们知道该怎么教育一个有天赋的孩子，”艾莉森说。 “我们害怕被当作为爱出风头的父母，但希望孩子获得最好的教育这一点绝对没有错。老师认为是我们要求卡梅隆学数学，但实际上那是他主动要学的。” 他们的尝试受到打击，卡梅伦也成为了众矢之的，随后他们想到了家庭教育，但又觉得这不利于孩子社会化的培养。
到卡梅伦小学最后一年时，他已经开始无聊到捣乱了，所幸升学后那里的老师很看重他的天赋，并鼓励他学习高年级的数学。
“他在短短三个月内学完了GCSE课程教学大纲，”艾莉森说， “他似乎很久没那么高兴了。”
然后，他的父母不得不决定下一步做什么。一些天才儿童提前进入大学，但艾莉森和罗德觉得这样对卡梅伦不好。 “他与其他学生有什么共同点？”她问， “我只是不明白有些家长是如此雄心勃勃，却全然忘记了他们的孩子。" “曾经又一位母亲告诉我，她5岁的女儿想要参加GCSE考试。我在想，这会是真的吗？ 一个5岁的孩子真的了解GCSE是什么吗？当卡梅伦5岁时，他就想当一名火车司机。“
艾莉森承认，她对儿子的学位课程感到困惑。即使拥有数学学位的罗德也不见得能跟上。然而，他们很小心，从来不拿卡梅隆与他的妹妹们做比较。
伯达尼也很聪明，但算不上天赋异禀。善于交际、喜欢艺术的她会提醒心不在焉的卡梅隆把他的外套穿上，她还回在社交场合为哥哥解围。 “即使在一个空房间里，伯达尼也能交朋友，” 艾莉森骄傲地说， “有不同需求的兄弟姐妹，让她变得很包容。”英语开头好句子摘抄加翻译。
艾玛就读的是一所特殊学校，家里人也会即时为她的每一次成功庆祝。 “有一天，她自己系上了衣服上所有的扣子，这绝对是进步，”艾莉森说。
汤普森一家尝试着像正常家庭那样去生活。去年年底，他们参加了一个观察式电视纪录片的拍摄，向大家证明并不是所有的天才儿童都是过于雄心勃勃的父母造就的。同时是空手道棕带的卡梅伦很高兴参加这次纪录片拍摄，因为他一直想上电视。
“社会给了像艾玛这样的孩子许多帮助，但对于天才儿童几乎没有任何帮助，”艾莉森说。 “天才儿童也需要支持，但他们的生活并没有和其他人太不同。卡梅伦就是个例子。”
【英语阅读原文及译文】相关文章：
《毛遂自荐》阅读原文及译文赏析06-30
克隆农场英语阅读译文03-23
英语阅读理解带译文08-10
雅思英语阅读练习及译文09-16
余靖传二原文阅读及译文赏析07-09
新概念英语阅读与译文03-27
英语美文原文及其译文（精选10篇）04-02
学术类阅读原文英语04-26
高一英语阅读原文02-22