多文化社会的优缺点雅思大作文点评
Multi-cultural societies are mixtures of ethnic groups. To what extent do you think the advantages of multi-cultural societies outweigh the disadvantages?
Multi-cultural（这是形容词，怎么作主语了？！） has been brought to spotlight recently, as a prevailing phenomenon nowadays（多余） that the countries on the earth are becoming more and more exchanged（这个句子很晦涩，as在这里是作连词吗？如果是的话，它应该引导一个句子，那么后面只有that引导的同位语从句，却没有主句的谓语动词了！！！）.People at every corner to share and enjoy the same spiritual life together, which not only promote a climate of peace and prosperity but also enrich the city life and broaden the horizons of human beings. Such a trend has both merits and demerits although, as for me, the former prevails over the latter obviously. （80words）
结构分析：前面写了n句话，都是在引题，但是内容显得有点啰嗦。最后一句是作者的观点，即主题句，写得还行。
语言方面：句型是很多，错误就更多了！！！大家要注意，拿高分必须要有一定量的句型，但是如果连基本的句子都写不对就去大胆写长句的.话，结果可能更惨！！！此段，虽然明显看得出作者掌握了一定的句型，可是似乎掌握的还不是特别好，基本上都有错，这就使得，现在这篇文章最高的起评分只有5分！！！得不偿失啊！！！
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