周立波语录英文版

1: a man to buy a car, need 100000yuan, but the man only 99998yuan, nearly2yuan! Suddenly, he found that the door has a beggar, past the beggar said: " please, give me2 yuan of money, I will buy a car!" The beggar after listening, generous to take out 4 yuan of money to a man, said:" help me to buy a car."

周立波语录英文版

2: the world's most difficult feelings has two kinds: one kind is a always know only tears of man is your blood. In second, is a know only the bleeding man, actually, for your tears.

3: learn these:1others with only pride, you are very modest. 2others showing eloquence. But you think more carefully. 3people tried to explicit, you can keep a low profile. 4people you fight me, but you are far away from the. 5others to go straight, but you into the party in the round. 6others for the broken skull, you can retreat. 7people be sorry, but you can take temporary setbacks. 8people hold about and give oneself airs, you don't not dazzle. Low profile: attitude, but also the wisdom of!

4: if one day, you said you want me, I will say to you: late ...

5: abandon is a wisdom, defect is a favor: when you have six apples, five should be put out to others to eat, on the surf-ace you lost five apples, but actually got five personal friendship and goodwill. When other people have other fruit, and you will share, you will get an orange, a pear, you may eventually get five different fruit, five different taste, in five different colors, five personal friendship.

6:" why don't you have a boyfriend?" Said: " I want you"; why don't you" why haven't you come home" say " I worry about you"; why not" what are you doing" said: " did you mime?" ; why don't you think I want to do"!" Said: " it is because I love you";" why don't you ever leave me" said: " I can't leave you!"

7: only three days of life, living in yesterday's confusing; live in tomorrow, people wait; live in today's most dependable. You can never predict accident and tomorrow which came earlier, so, we can do, is to make the greatest efforts to good today. Please remember: today is yesterday perishes tomorrow which person of the.

8: a person often have the same dream, dreams are always found himself found significant world secret, can wake up will not remember. Finally one day, he determined to give the secret out, then in the pillow on a pa-pe-r and pencil, and then go to bed. When he was dreaming, shall like Peter-Peter time, make this world a secret come down. Wake up, see the writing on pa-pe-r: banana banana skin is big!

9: if one day we lose memory, forget want. If one day we lost, unable to express. If one day we are blind, never to be seen again. If one day we lost, never to return to the. If one day we break up, never to be believed. If one day we are unable to communicate, unable to tolerate, to pour, unable to extricate themselves, defy laws human and divine ... We still remain?

10:, not your little raccoon, playing an endleenjoyment out of your. Life is short, to be se-xy. Either can, or cruel. Together: may seem to be probably is the second line of a couplet: but not necessarily. Something without beam, surf-ace resistance to secretly. To admit his mistake, never change. Man is a dog, who is who can go. Oath is just a slip of the tongue.

11: don't cut, otherwise it will go; don't take a roundabout route, otherwise you will be late; don't go his way, otherwise it will go to jail; don't go black, otherwise it will get knife; don't just want, pay no less; don't hurry, must rashness; ask for no return, the natural; do not urgent, calm will not angry; do not be afraid to laugh, to see who smile to the old; don't pretend to know, do not know to ask.

12: the third examination, because before did not review, in the history exam, see the topic most not, stood up and left the room. The teacher was surprised, I say: we teenagers should pay more attention to the future ... ...

13: Chinese cabbage, radish, kelp, fans, bean curd be jubilant to hotel. People ask : why do you go to? " To eat hot pot!" The man then asked: who to treat? Mutton."!"

14: to charge spending tremendous effort only, give girls to write a love letter in the final, he added: I answer the examination pa-pe-rs, for your admission notice!!! Not long after, reply to the letter, only four words: quota has been filled. To not give up, and were sent a letter: I sign up next? This reply is: the next term!

15: dumb came to the restaurant: give me a meat roll, some bread and a kind word. The waiter brought meat rolls and bread, dumb question: I want him? The waiter whispered: do not eat this meat roll!

16: female: I already have a boyfriend. M: I don't mind, I still love you. Others comment -- good man. M: I have a girlfriend. Woman: I don't mind, I still love you. Others comment -- eraser! Shamelep3.

17: we are not very perfect, but we have to accept not perfect myself. At the lonely time, give you comfort; in the lonely, give warm oneself. Learn to be independent, dependent on their farewell, weak say goodbye. Life is not only the warmth, the road of life will not always be smooth, but as long as you have confidence in yourself, know the value of their own, understand the treasure, everything in the world is perfect or not, you can calmly face.

18: people must travel, especially girls. A girl experience is very important, you see more, nature will be open-minded, view is broad, may affect your views on many things. Travel make people have great experience, for girls, even more so, it will make you feel more confident, not in the material world lost.

19: I have been to your world, but we just paby; take me to your heart, I am actually get rid of. I'm your man, you have become my heart permanent traveler ... Can't find the reason to be sad, you to me, I have no qualification evaluation.

20: Three: law; or can! Either! Either roll!

21: let you see through life seven words : 1the past no longer come back, come back no longer perfect. 2if not strong, weak to whom? 3with mixed feelings, complex life, go a complicated road. 4with no attitude, reconcile oneself to one's situation had a good life. 5 the occasional memories of the past, let me feel my life in. 6 look, wait, failure, life is so entangled. 7we are not suitable, but you are more suitable for.

22: there are5 eggs, the first one says to the second: Hey ~ you see to fifth eggs Maomao Oh ~ ~ so terrible ah ~! Second in third say: Hey ~ you see to fifth eggs Maomao Oh ~ ~ terrible terrible ah ~! Third in fourth say: Hey ~ you see to fifth eggs Maomao oh ... ... Fifth eggs heard: roll! I is the kiwi!!!

23: if no life, only the consequences and results. People are not happy, may also be delayed. Is dedicated to a person, a thing, a thing, how many youth can waste ... ...

24: love it too late, get married too early; spend it without money, it is too difficult to play; you are not interested, work did not graduate; together with80to90with too little, too old ... ... Are you?

25: Hunter against gun hit the rabbit, jumps out of a black bear, the hunter could shoot was jumped, half an hour later the bear or flutter in the hunters, hunters have to wonder: This is swollen a matter? Suddenly he saw a black neck with a cloth, writing above: bear.

26: Guy:" Sir, I really hope that next year can also to congratulate you on your99 birthday." The old man: "young man, you are so young, and so strong, live next year should be no problem."

27: so there will always be a person, perhaps he was good, he is very good; or perhaps he did nothing, is long not good-looking, but we love him; we will pay for him, waiting for him, for he didn't know her. In our ignorance, there will always be such person, let us for his bi-tc-hy years. Finally woke up, looked back: the man is just so so, but our" stubborn" in love with him.

28: the people's troubles on the 12 words, do not put, want not to open, see through, forget.

29: if you have a1000000suite, buy it, our love; you have 100000, buy a car, drive our love; you have 10000, buy a diamond ring, the witneof our love; you have 1000, go hiking, fly our love; you have to take100, candlelight dinner now, romantic love; you have 10, then buy a bottle of water, irrigate our love.

30: why the boys wear trousers Shangjie is a rogue, girls wear trousers Shangjie 's stockings?? Why the boys wear boxer briefs Shangjie is abnormal, the girl wearing boxer 's shorts??? Why the boys wear vest superior is shirtleman, girls wear a vest that tape?? Why. Why.

31: the three things in life: learn to close to calculate and learn to give up. Doctrine of three words:! Never mind. Will the past! Learn music: find in helping others as a pleasurable occupation what. Learn three don't: do not take someone else's mistake to punish oneself do not take own mistake to punish others do not take own mistake to punish its own. Life three: a hate hate hate Begonia unscented two shad spiny three hate dream unfinished

32: Don ' t say you love me unleyou really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it. - - - - - - - don't say you love me, unleyou mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe you, ...

33: love, is a lie.

34: a few very overbearing words, which do you like? 1, you are not allowed to bear their own sad, my shoulder is a decoration. 2, you are not allowed to stay up stay up very tired, you know? I will love you tired. 3, don't you get up early, so I put breakfast do end up in front of you. 4, you are not allowed to make blind and disorderly conjectures, my heart is so large, it is full of you. 5, you are not allowed to be the world's first happy man, because of you, I was most happy.

35: life is like a pressure cooker. When too much pressure on yourself is ready. You think I will watch you die? Absolutely not, I will close my eyes. The furthest distance in the world, is not the remotest corners of the globe, but I in Telecom, Netcom you in. Saliva is used to count the money, but not to speak the truth. Problems start with them to find a cause, don't blame constipation the planet's gravity.

36: the woman loves to say5 Lies:1tell me your and her story, I will not be angry ( finished must be angry )2old couple, not what Valentine's Day gift (do not buy you finished. )3 I think I really not for you ( I don't like you at all4) I do not want to have a boyfriend ( flash side! You are not my spouse choosing standards )5half my heart care about a person ( the person is for you I this myth )

37: cloudy, not necessarily will rain. Break up, not necessarily the most sad. Hate, not necessarily a lifetime. Disappointment, is not necessarily a hopeless. Face, not necessarily the most difficult. Lonely, not necessarily unhappy. Have, do not have to be. Silence is not indifference. No longer does not necessarily have to lose. Failure, will not give up. Miracle, not necessarily does not appear. As long as the second not despair, the next second will have hope!

38: the city is large enough, big enough to tolerate all your quirks and customs. People are busy with their own lives, to indifference as privacy respect. Well, okay, okay, okay, everyone says so, and you say so. Those looking for your friendly person, emptied them, and leave you to move on, you don't care, because you just pretend listening. - the world is so big, but we still so lonely!

39[ have to be friends with the do 7 things ]1off boyfriend, shopping aces; II with beauty and fitness, beautiful efforts; and each other's emotional trash; listening to each other at the physical examination; go; we all want to health; the show together with the anthomaniac; shout. The beautiful self-timer; the sing KTV together, we will point tracks. Children's shoes, you do these things?

40: the woman, not too pretty, too beautiful to be called the vase; woman, not too smart, too smart to be called the invisible killer; woman, not too se-xy, se-xy will be termed the swagger through the streets; a woman, not too sweet, too sweet to be called no opinion; the woman, not too strong, too strong to be called man Po; women can not be too cute, cute too will be called na-iv-e. A woman is! Zhou Libo Quotes

41: the reporter interviews a grandmother! Reporter asked:" you in the city to set off firecrackers this question what do you think?" Grandma: " how can I look? Is to climb the window look ... ..."

42: [ ]1jest good people always say that I am alone, but I know they just feel shy to say I SB. In 2, when young, if you love me, don't say forever, that the value of. 3.TT, I always know is a browser, then that is another name of it. 4 military quilts quality is good, hide the yard mobile phone no signal!

43: Girls mature performance:1, regard love as the most important thing in life;2, rely on clothes to show their temperament;3, easily for male blind change;4, everyone can speak their own emotional experience;5, constantly asked her" do you love me";6, easy to meet with friends;7, with pregnancy reason to keep feelings;8, always dream of marrying a rich man;9, always refused to admit a mistake;10, the romance as the end of the world

44: each of us is like a clown, played with five balls, five balls are your job, health, family, friends and soul. The five ball is made of rubber, fall will bounce back, it's work. The other four balls are made of glass, lost, broken. This passage is worth us thoughtful.

45: expert ] of wise people see through, so do not contend for. The open-minded person want to open, so do not fight. The Enlightenment of Xiao Providence, so no hurry. The city man humble, so no noise. The reasonable man and put it down, it is not. The confidence of the people work hard, so don't miss. The heavy righteousnepeople make the world, therefore not solitary. And my people light fame and fortune, so not only. In the quiet man is far-reaching, it does not break. The contented man is very happy, not old.

46: 1 for as the money like dirt, so flowers always inserted in cow dung. 2men want to lock the woman wallet zipper, women want to lock the man pants zipper. 3woman pregnant men engage in large, man in the stomach or male

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